Let’s turn the clocks all the way back to 2005 when I graduated high school (did I just date myself? If you don’t know, now ya know) and set off into the world, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I landed on Industrial Design because, contrary to my dad and sister’s successful careers as graphic designers, I felt like art meant something that you can hold in your hand. And design, even when its printed, has a disposable quality to it. I think I wanted to design cars but I couldn’t be sure now.
My grades weren’t quite good enough to get into my #1 pick, the Massachusetts College of Art aka, MassArt so we shopped around. University of Bridgeport, which was down the street, was generous enough to give us some money and there I went. I was on the industrial design track which of course included 2D and 3D design. My professor for 3D design was a real life industrial designer, or had been, and I took my time at UB pretty seriously. Serious enough to get my grades up for MassArt. A year later, we packed the van and shipped up to Boston.
For a variety of reasons that I won’t delve into here, it didn’t work out, but along the way I changed my mind about industrial design (way, way too much math and brain is like peanut), instead choosing art education. Every art teacher I had in the past had a profound effect on me and I thought, how cool to be able to do the same for someone else. I managed to stumble through two-ish semesters in Boston, and after coming home in defeat from MassArt, my options were much more limited and I ended up enrolling in courses at Housatonic Community College. I also had to get a job.
I really cannot say enough good things about HCC. It was close, it was affordable, and community college is unique in that your input is solely responsible for your output. Unlike four year schools, HCC didn’t have the support structure and advising - nobody was checking on you (which I think can be one of the shocks when departing high school for college) and if you crashed and burned, that was squarely on you. So there was a pretty considerable onus to not fuck up. I was surrounded by kids who didn’t care and were probably just going through the paces; but I was determined to make the most of my situation and put nose to grindstone.
After receiving my Associate’s from HCC, I opted to finish my Bachelor’s up at Southern Connecticut State University and it was here that our journey really begins. This was the real deal, or as real as I was going to get after the failure at MassArt. HCC was great but it didn’t have the money or the pedigree that SCSU did (and that is totally okay, community college and traditional four-year schools each have their specific uses for the right people), at least in the art department.
My advisor & 3D design professor (and later, good friend) one day came into the metal shop and asked why I wasn’t majoring in sculpture (technically you can’t major in sculpture, the actual degree is Studio Art) and I didn’t have an answer for her. In my peanut brain, you go to college to gain skills for the real world and I sure didn’t want to be making coffee for the rest of my professional life - majoring in studio art sounded like a solid way to ensure that just that would happen.
But how do you put a price on happiness? How can you rationalize NOT doing something that you love, that really calls to you and fulfills you? Part of the reason I switched to studio art is because after some preliminary art courses, in the art education track, you stop creating your own art in college. And you learn how to instruct others (which, surprise surprise, is the point). That sat poorly with me, as two years of education courses sounded real lame, and metalwork was fun. My dad had some reservations, but both my parents are true gems and so the switch was made.
I was now a “capital A” Artist, as one professor used to say. My time at SCSU was phenomenal and I look back on it fondly. I was extremely fortunate to have such a positive college experience, especially after the false starts. I made lifelong friends and connections and found what I had lost years ago somewhere between MassArt and HCC. And yet, life after college was spent meandering until recently and in a lot of ways the wandering continues. That’s a post for another day.
Do I regret the decisions I made in college? No, but I wish I thought beyond the classroom and studio. It turns out metal sculpture is really fucking expensive and you need specialized tools, plus a specialized location to do it in. I was able to work on projects after college here and there, but learned quickly that I wouldn’t be making a living “doing what I loved”.
In The Matrix Reloaded, Morpheus hits Neo with “What happened happened, and couldn’t have happened any other way.” under wildly different context of course, but I feel its a healthier way of viewing the progression of your life and not drowning in what might have been. Parts of me are stuck back there but I think that’s true for all of us, and coming to that understanding has helped me move forward. If you had asked me where I thought I would be five years ago, I certainly wouldn’t have said “blogging”.